Dating and relationship advice from the experts
No woman who has used force has ever snagged a man and kept him for good. If you’re faced with a dilemma on how to make your crush for a million years make the first move, then here are 7 guidelines that might help you:
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Discovered 19 hours ago | 0 comments
Meh. Tonight was the first time I have ever left the hospice not feeling better than when I arrived.
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Discovered 20 hours ago | 0 comments
A woman who is beautiful and desirable has a feeling of power and exhilaration. It is not easy to figure out what a man really wants and desires, since not all men are the same. However, there are certain standard factors that men look for in a woman. Do you wish to become the “object of desire”? Here are some tips that can make you very desirable to men.
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Discovered 14 hours ago | 0 comments
I remember what I was doing a year ago. I was laying in bed in KY with my fiance. It was the best tw
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Discovered 14 hours ago | 0 comments
I love weddings. I did not watermark these pictures because I don’t want to mar a set of weddi
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Discovered 15 hours ago | 0 comments
Even before I was sexually mature (and I was a late bloomer not getting boobs until I was in my 20
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Discovered 19 hours ago | 0 comments
If you want to meet more women and drastically improve your dating and social life then there are some simple steps that you must take. Women are naturally attracted to self confident guys no matter what they look like or what type of car they drive.
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Discovered 4 hours ago | 0 comments
Q: I had coffee with this girl I barely knew a couple weeks ago, and I thought it went great. She emailed me afterward and said she had a great time and that we should do it again. Fast forward to Monday, and I ask her about getting together again. She says it sounded great, but that week might be too busy. No word from her the rest of that week, except a couple casual encounters.
The next Monday, she sat on the opposite side of the auditorium from me in chapel (I think) but next thing I knew there she was asking if she could sit with me. We talked for a couple minutes, and I mentioned that we hadn’t done anything. She wistfully said I know, then said she had planned to call me but didn’t have my number, which I then gave her.
This past Saturday, I invited her to an event which she couldn’t go to because she had taken her roommate to the ER. I first called her then emailed, which she replied to (she said early on she doesn’t check her phone often). She thanked me twice in the email for the invite, and again in person later that evening, then made a general statement that we should get together. So my question is, does she sound interested? Should I remain hopeful? – Jordan
Amy: Dear Jordan, Yes, she is interested but she won’t be for much longer if you don’t make something happen very soon. She’s seeking out seats next to you, thanking you three times for an invite, saying that you should get together…are you really unsure of her interest? My real question is what are you afraid of? but I’ll get to that. First, here’s how to proceed. Call her, today if possible, and ask her out for a specific day and a specific activity. Most likely, she’ll say yes and you’ll go out. If she says that she can’t make that day, ask her if there’s another day that would be better for her and arrange the date for that day. So, be specific and get a date concretely planned.
To prepare for when this situation comes up in the future, you may want to look at your timidity and question whether it’s really justified. What’s the worst that can happen? What are your biggest fears? Look at them and evaluate their actual likelihood (we usually greatly over-estimate the likelihood of our fears). The worst than can happen is that you ask her out and she says no. How long do you think it would take you to get over that? Again, we usually think it would take much, much longer than it actually does. You’re at a much greater risk if you don’t act on your opportunities than if you do. With this girl, and with girls in the future, remember to just ask. Nothing that bad can happen, and many times some very good stuff will happen when you put yourself out there. Good luck!
The next Monday, she sat on the opposite side of the auditorium from me in chapel (I think) but next thing I knew there she was asking if she could sit with me. We talked for a couple minutes, and I mentioned that we hadn’t done anything. She wistfully said I know, then said she had planned to call me but didn’t have my number, which I then gave her.
This past Saturday, I invited her to an event which she couldn’t go to because she had taken her roommate to the ER. I first called her then emailed, which she replied to (she said early on she doesn’t check her phone often). She thanked me twice in the email for the invite, and again in person later that evening, then made a general statement that we should get together. So my question is, does she sound interested? Should I remain hopeful? – Jordan
Amy: Dear Jordan, Yes, she is interested but she won’t be for much longer if you don’t make something happen very soon. She’s seeking out seats next to you, thanking you three times for an invite, saying that you should get together…are you really unsure of her interest? My real question is what are you afraid of? but I’ll get to that. First, here’s how to proceed. Call her, today if possible, and ask her out for a specific day and a specific activity. Most likely, she’ll say yes and you’ll go out. If she says that she can’t make that day, ask her if there’s another day that would be better for her and arrange the date for that day. So, be specific and get a date concretely planned.
To prepare for when this situation comes up in the future, you may want to look at your timidity and question whether it’s really justified. What’s the worst that can happen? What are your biggest fears? Look at them and evaluate their actual likelihood (we usually greatly over-estimate the likelihood of our fears). The worst than can happen is that you ask her out and she says no. How long do you think it would take you to get over that? Again, we usually think it would take much, much longer than it actually does. You’re at a much greater risk if you don’t act on your opportunities than if you do. With this girl, and with girls in the future, remember to just ask. Nothing that bad can happen, and many times some very good stuff will happen when you put yourself out there. Good luck!
Discovered 20 hours ago | 0 comments
I used to be have a Facebook but now I deleted it and life is so much easier now.
I think everyone else should at least try it
because so many people judge you on how many friends you ahve and your pictures its stupid the idiocy of some people
some people are just Facebook fiends and need to get off Facebook like there are so many other things that a person could be doing besides Facebook.
I think everyone else should at least try it
because so many people judge you on how many friends you ahve and your pictures its stupid the idiocy of some people
some people are just Facebook fiends and need to get off Facebook like there are so many other things that a person could be doing besides Facebook.
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Discovered 20 hours ago | 0 comments
Executive Director of BlackPeopleMeet.com, Ron Worthy, spoke with EurWeb recently about online dating and what makes his African American dating service stand out.
BlackPeopleMeet was launched in 2002 and has become very popular with singles aged 35 to 45. The dating site has almost 1 million unique visitors a month and now reaches 4 percent of the total Black population in the United States. There are currently a few percentage points more women on BlackPeopleMeet than men but when compared to the real world (as opposed to the online world) where you have 7 or 8 women per man, online dating for the African American women becomes a much better option to find a partner.
While ultimately BlackPeopleMeet was designed for black people looking for other black people, other races can be found on the dating service. BlackPeopleMeet does not discriminate and allows people of all races to join who are interested in meeting a …
BlackPeopleMeet was launched in 2002 and has become very popular with singles aged 35 to 45. The dating site has almost 1 million unique visitors a month and now reaches 4 percent of the total Black population in the United States. There are currently a few percentage points more women on BlackPeopleMeet than men but when compared to the real world (as opposed to the online world) where you have 7 or 8 women per man, online dating for the African American women becomes a much better option to find a partner.
While ultimately BlackPeopleMeet was designed for black people looking for other black people, other races can be found on the dating service. BlackPeopleMeet does not discriminate and allows people of all races to join who are interested in meeting a …
Source: Dating Sites Reviews
Discovered 20 hours ago | 0 comments
Meeink’s story shows us how both the skinheads and other people met some of his basic human needs. Both in negative and positive ways, meeting those needs, even in small ways, contributed to his sense of connection with other human beings and his transformation into, and out of, the skinheads. Here are some of the needs he mentioned:
Care and Interest: People showed interest in him, his life, what life was like for him.
Acceptance: They provided ‘safety’ for him, not only physically, but safety from criticism.
Doing something together for a higher ‘cause’. Meeink said that doing ‘missions’ together was very bonding. They did things for ‘the cause’ – whether spray-painting synagogues or beating someone. A ‘mission’ can be destructive or constructive, but groups that do things together for a higher purpose bond members more and more to the group. I often tell couples that doing things together to make the world better is very bonding for them as a couple, but it also bonds them to other people with whom they share the experience.
Years ago, I used to work regularly in retreat programs. Doing that bonded me to other people on the retreat team in very powerful ways. Some of them are my best friends to this day. Others that I may have worked with once or twice, could see me in a restaurant, and the feeling of immediate connection is there.
Meeink went to prison for kidnapping and beating a man for hours and videotaping it. In prison, his life began to change and his hatred started to dissolve. How?
Seeing beyond appearance and efforts to connect with him:
What began his transformation was black guys asking him to join them in sports in prison. They were friendly toward him. They talked together about their girlfriends and baby’s that were on the way. They looked beyond his swastikas and his ‘role’ and saw him as simply another human being.
Offering hope of something better: He said that one guy was the first person that ever gave him a sense of hope simply by saying that there was still a chance when his girlfriend broke up with him. That man and one or two others help up a vision of the possible and of the possibility of creating a new life.
Emotional Intimacy: By sharing what was important to him and some of those men letting him see their thoughts and feelings, they created basic intimacy – seeing into each other.
Contact with people he had stereotyped replaced fear and hatred: He decided that because of his experience with fellow inmates, he would no longer hate Blacks, Latinos or Asians and would just hate Jews because he didn’t know any. Then one day someone told him a guy was paying good money for help to move some antiques. The guy turned out to be Jewish. Meeink didn’t care because he needed the money and worked 3 days for an agreed $100 per day. Expecting the guy would cheat him because he was a Jew, he was surprised when the man not only paid him his $300, but gave him another $100 because he had worked so hard.
Recognized and expressed the positive in him: The Jewish man drove Meeink home and when Meeink made some comment about his own stupidity, the Jewish man told him to never call himself stupid – that he was very smart, even if it was from street-smarts. Meeink made some comment about this Jewish man ‘ruining’ his last stereotype.
Meeink longed for connection, for acceptance, for someone to see who he really was inside, to give him hope and to treat him like a fellow human being.
Now Meeink speaks to kids across the country on hatred and harmony and has a program to help kids through hockey. He is working with others for a ‘higher’ cause and bonding with others, but this time it is to make the world better and to build a society that respects every human being, even those who are different from us.
We can all learn something from his transformation.
Care and Interest: People showed interest in him, his life, what life was like for him.
Acceptance: They provided ‘safety’ for him, not only physically, but safety from criticism.
Doing something together for a higher ‘cause’. Meeink said that doing ‘missions’ together was very bonding. They did things for ‘the cause’ – whether spray-painting synagogues or beating someone. A ‘mission’ can be destructive or constructive, but groups that do things together for a higher purpose bond members more and more to the group. I often tell couples that doing things together to make the world better is very bonding for them as a couple, but it also bonds them to other people with whom they share the experience.
Years ago, I used to work regularly in retreat programs. Doing that bonded me to other people on the retreat team in very powerful ways. Some of them are my best friends to this day. Others that I may have worked with once or twice, could see me in a restaurant, and the feeling of immediate connection is there.
Meeink went to prison for kidnapping and beating a man for hours and videotaping it. In prison, his life began to change and his hatred started to dissolve. How?
Seeing beyond appearance and efforts to connect with him:
What began his transformation was black guys asking him to join them in sports in prison. They were friendly toward him. They talked together about their girlfriends and baby’s that were on the way. They looked beyond his swastikas and his ‘role’ and saw him as simply another human being.
Offering hope of something better: He said that one guy was the first person that ever gave him a sense of hope simply by saying that there was still a chance when his girlfriend broke up with him. That man and one or two others help up a vision of the possible and of the possibility of creating a new life.
Emotional Intimacy: By sharing what was important to him and some of those men letting him see their thoughts and feelings, they created basic intimacy – seeing into each other.
Contact with people he had stereotyped replaced fear and hatred: He decided that because of his experience with fellow inmates, he would no longer hate Blacks, Latinos or Asians and would just hate Jews because he didn’t know any. Then one day someone told him a guy was paying good money for help to move some antiques. The guy turned out to be Jewish. Meeink didn’t care because he needed the money and worked 3 days for an agreed $100 per day. Expecting the guy would cheat him because he was a Jew, he was surprised when the man not only paid him his $300, but gave him another $100 because he had worked so hard.
Recognized and expressed the positive in him: The Jewish man drove Meeink home and when Meeink made some comment about his own stupidity, the Jewish man told him to never call himself stupid – that he was very smart, even if it was from street-smarts. Meeink made some comment about this Jewish man ‘ruining’ his last stereotype.
Meeink longed for connection, for acceptance, for someone to see who he really was inside, to give him hope and to treat him like a fellow human being.
Now Meeink speaks to kids across the country on hatred and harmony and has a program to help kids through hockey. He is working with others for a ‘higher’ cause and bonding with others, but this time it is to make the world better and to build a society that respects every human being, even those who are different from us.
We can all learn something from his transformation.
Source: Build Better Relationships
Discovered 20 hours ago | 0 comments
“if you dont have any respect for yourself, then you wont demand respect from anyone else.
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Discovered 13 hours ago | 0 comments
There are times when we are in a relationship where we are in love with the person but the person is still not ready to take the relationship to the next level and fall in love with you. If you are in such a relationship and want to know how to get your guy to love you then read on and find out how you can be successful Be understanding Men love women who understand them. It becomes very difficult for them to love a woman who is diva like in nature.
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Discovered 13 hours ago | 0 comments
When I was a pre-teen, the idea of formal “dating” seemed weird, smothering and maybe even a little scary. Don’t get me wrong, I’d had “boyfriends,” but “dating” at that stage consisted of going to the movies, or going to an amusement park, usually with a group of friends. Contrast that with “dates” in the movies or on TV; even high-schoolers were shown at romantic restaurants with drippy candles and soft lighting, dressing up and bringing presents (how did they even get there if they couldn’t drive?). Shudder. It all seemed too… too heavy. Give me an evening bowling instead.
As an adult, I’m only marginally more romantic; I still look for fun more than romance. But it recently occurred to me that the “heavy” feeling I once experienced wasn’t simply due to my age; it was thinking about a level of romance that I wasn’t ready for that really creeped me out. If I’m in a well-established relationship, I might have more fun at a bowling alley, but I can go on a fancy, form …
As an adult, I’m only marginally more romantic; I still look for fun more than romance. But it recently occurred to me that the “heavy” feeling I once experienced wasn’t simply due to my age; it was thinking about a level of romance that I wasn’t ready for that really creeped me out. If I’m in a well-established relationship, I might have more fun at a bowling alley, but I can go on a fancy, form …
Source: Dating Sites Reviews
Discovered 4 hours ago | 0 comments
Beyond Selfishness….What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder? What is Parental Alienation? My safe place to discuss my on-going challenge of dealing with parental narcissism, and partner narcissism. A place to deconstruct the legacy left to me by my Narcissistic Mother.
Tags: mother
narcissism npd narcissistic parental alienation family betrayal
Tags: mother
narcissism npd narcissistic parental alienation family betrayal
Discovered 4 hours ago | 0 comments
You don’t have to suffer through the punishment of running to enjoy some of that exercise’s benefits. New research reveals that a few walks a week may be all you need to slim down and ward off a potentially life-threatening stroke. According to a large new study in Stroke, an American Heart Association journal, women who walked two or more hours a week faced a significantly lower risk of stroke than more sedentary ladies — by a whopping 37 percent.
Discovered 4 hours ago | 0 comments
Do you want to know how to make any hot girl like you? Do you want to be the alpha male that is in control of his reality and the women he’s around? Do you want to date hot women?
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Discovered 10 hours ago | 0 comments
What is different about my ministy? or why it might be considered non-traditional ? I believe it is
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Discovered 10 hours ago | 0 comments
‘CaJoh‘
Everybody is different. There are actually differences in how much or how little we can see a relationship working or not working.
There are those who are superficial and tend to be attracted to the here and now and not the long term. These seem to be the ones who go on to the next person once the one they have has gone cold.
Then there are the ones who are desperate for a relationship “ANY” relationship and tend to ignore the warning signs of a destructive relationship.
Finally, you have the ones who can discern the difference between initial attraction and long term love. Again, there are variations to the degree they can see this but they are the ones who seem to have a long term relationship that works.
Discovered 10 hours ago | 0 comments
You have been in a steady relationship for some time now and want to turn this relationship into a marriage. However, your boyfriend is quite happy with the way things are going and would like to maintain the status quo. So, what do you do now? Well, you need to do the following seven things.
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Discovered 10 hours ago | 0 comments
What is a so-so love? It’s a relationship that doesn’t give you what you want. How do we
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Discovered 12 hours ago | 0 comments
New Question – Hi,
I LOVE a girl truly. To get to know more about my situation, check my previous quesiton here- http://www.leftos.com/forum/view/649
OR, In a nutshell, I I’d tell you that this girl started coming close to me a few months ago and although never proposed her love to me but I was pretty sure she at least likes me and might be waiting for my proposal. We were MORE than friends.
When I proposed to her, she turned me down by saying she has been with her new boyfriend for (just) 2 months.
She turned me down by saying ‘You’re a very good guy but when I told my BF about your proposal, he said if you leave me, I’ll commit suicide.’
School has reopened and she still wants to be friends with me. Recently she got her new cellphone and since then she regularly Texts me, mostly with her messages saying “hey dear What’s up?”, and “you’re a very sweet friend and I’ll support u in every problem of yours.”
I’ve told her how much I love her but to no effect on her.
Last week she told my close friend who treats her like her sister that “I don’t have any boyfriend at this moment, and please don’t tell this to Vishal (i,e, me).”
That close friend of mine told me all she said (as he also knows I love her truly) and he reckons she is lying in order to not to let her image down in front of her brother-like friend after all what she did to me.
I’m confused at this girl’s behavior. At once, she tries to act like my lover, when I propose her, turns me down and then wants to be good friends with me again, despite whatever happened between us.
So, how do you think I should proceed from now on?
Thanks in advance. 🙂
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Discovered 12 hours ago | 0 comments
Attracting men is an art and can be mastered with some bit of practice. It’s an art where you need to learn to play mind games successfully so that the man you like cannot help but get attracted to you. Here are a few ways by which you can attract a man you like.
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Discovered 15 hours ago | 0 comments
OK I’m totally baffled right now. I haven’t heard from my H. since Monday and b/c he left in a really bad mood saying he’s tired of living, I’m…
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Discovered 1 day ago | 0 comments
A follower. What a unique word. Not many people aspire to be a follower. When we play the game follo
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Discovered 4 hours ago | 0 comments
Can sex stretch it out? Is it supposed to have an odor? And why does it feel so freakin’ good when it’s touched and stroked? Our hoo-ha handbook has all the answers plus secrets to staying in top shape down there.
Discovered 1 day ago | 0 comments
These photos made us do a double take. And laugh out loud.
Discovered 1 day ago | 0 comments
Appearances put aside, because this is an environment where I can’t dress fancy, how could I make an impression on a guy and get him to realize I like him in a pretty short amount of time? I only see him once a week, and need to make tomorrow when I see him count!
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Discovered 1 day ago | 0 comments
Ok, first I’ll tell you I am normally the quiet guy. I don’t say much I normally just chill back and listen. but my question is how come no one ever seems to call/text me to come hang I mean I always have to end up texting or calling someone on fridays to see what’s going on. I just want to know what’s up with me lol. I mean the people I would call my friends say they enjoy chilling with me (no I haven’t asked them) but I normally just sit back listen and back funny comments every once and a while to make people laugh anyway someone help me out lol I have a problem makeing friends I suppose which is sad since I’m 19 lol
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Discovered 1 day ago | 0 comments
I have a big secret: I am borderline obsessed with physical beauty and perfection. Not to the extre
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Discovered 1 day ago | 0 comments
For a month now, I’ve been more-than-friends with one of my guy friends: kissing, nonstop flirting and texting, going on dates, giving each other cutesy nicknames, sending dirty pics, etc. We’ve told each other that we like one another numerous times, and I’ve told him that I don’t want this to turn into some kind of fling. He replied that he didn’t know what he wanted with me, and this went on for quite some time.
Now, I’ve been asked on a date by someone I’m somewhat interested in, and the more-than-friends guy is telling me that he never wanted a relationship because we supposedly “never see each other”. (I see him at least 3 times a day at school and we hang out maybe 3 or 4 times a week). Am I right to feel used?
Now, I’ve been asked on a date by someone I’m somewhat interested in, and the more-than-friends guy is telling me that he never wanted a relationship because we supposedly “never see each other”. (I see him at least 3 times a day at school and we hang out maybe 3 or 4 times a week). Am I right to feel used?
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Discovered 1 day ago | 0 comments
Let me tell you, women are very attracted to men who wear a good cologne. I wanted to share with you the success with women one of my readers has with colognes. Here’s his story:
I was eyeing your archives and came across the top 10 fragrances to seduce women, and decided to give some of them a try. I have always had good luck with Eternity, but it was that time, and I was in the market for something new. I went down to the local P.X. and sniffed around. My decision was exact! I chose Safari, and let me say, it works! … here is some real quick history about me, I am a veterinary technician, so I have constant contact with beautiful women, and it helps that I work in a college town too… It didn’t matter what I did today, women flocked! My boss even commented on it! Personally, I think it was the combination of the fragrance, and the confidence it gave me.
I was eyeing your archives and came across the top 10 fragrances to seduce women, and decided to give some of them a try. I have always had good luck with Eternity, but it was that time, and I was in the market for something new. I went down to the local P.X. and sniffed around. My decision was exact! I chose Safari, and let me say, it works! … here is some real quick history about me, I am a veterinary technician, so I have constant contact with beautiful women, and it helps that I work in a college town too… It didn’t matter what I did today, women flocked! My boss even commented on it! Personally, I think it was the combination of the fragrance, and the confidence it gave me.
Source: Alltop RSS
Discovered 1 day ago | 0 comments
At a dinner party about a month ago, i was ambushed by a woman i’d just met over a simple stat
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Discovered 1 day ago | 0 comments
I know it sounds strange, but all relationships can give us clues about what all human beings need, whether it is our spouse, partner, friend, co-worker, or even a skinhead.
I heard a fascinating interview on NPR radio with Frank Meeink who wrote a book, From Hatred to Harmony: Autobiography of a Recovering Skinhead. I haven’t read the book yet, but the radio interview was fascinating. I was curious about what leads to such hatred and how could someone who hates so much, turn that around?
Part 1 will look at factors in the formation into a skinhead and ways we do them in less intense ways in our own lives.
In Part 2 we will look at the needs that were met both in the skinheads and people in our lives that can lead to transformation and renunciation of hatred.
How Hatred is Born:
1. Humiliation, powerlessness
Meeink grew up with his mother and her boyfriend who was abusive. He describes being beaten and how he grew up being afraid of men. He also had an experience at school of being one of about 2- white kids who had to run together from the bus to the school so they would not be bullied. No one at home was interested in him or what he experienced, thought, felt.. He hung out on a street where kids from similar backgrounds spent the day, including skinheads. Some of you may have violence in your neighborhood or home, or you had it as a child.
Most of us think we are above that behavior and think we are nothing like Meeink’s stepfather or skinheads.
But there are many ways people, and perhaps we, humiliate and disempower people without ever touching them.
Have you ever:
He said that no one had ever asked him what his life or his experience was like and when the skinheads asked him, it felt like they cared.
Even in relatively healthy families we have to be on guard for disconnection.
Meeink talks about feeling inadequate, a failure and how with the skinheads he felt like someone. Being very smart and creative, he signed up for a cable access station and started his own TV program in his teens. He also said how his swastika tattoos and crazy look appealed to TV viewers and he became known and looked up to.
I heard an interview several years ago about a man who was a Muslim religious extremist and he described many of the same factors. He was bullied, felt helpless and describes the feeling of finally being someone, finally having a sense of power by becoming very fundamentalist. He was ‘right’ and everyone else was ‘wrong’. He knew ‘the truth’. He was part of something more ‘pure’ than his family and friends. Fortunately, he also turned his life around to promote respect and tolerance of difference.
4. Fear of others
Meeink was afraid of his stepfather and of men because of the violence. He was also afraid of people who were different from him or who he did not know and that was fed by the skinheads.
He describes an incident when he was about 14 where a large skinhead put him on his shoulders, walked into a bar and beat up some guy. Meeink describes the feeling of being on the other side of a beating for the first time in his life.
Next in Part 2: What Turns Hatred Around – What Human Beings Need in Relationships
I heard a fascinating interview on NPR radio with Frank Meeink who wrote a book, From Hatred to Harmony: Autobiography of a Recovering Skinhead. I haven’t read the book yet, but the radio interview was fascinating. I was curious about what leads to such hatred and how could someone who hates so much, turn that around?
Part 1 will look at factors in the formation into a skinhead and ways we do them in less intense ways in our own lives.
In Part 2 we will look at the needs that were met both in the skinheads and people in our lives that can lead to transformation and renunciation of hatred.
How Hatred is Born:
1. Humiliation, powerlessness
Meeink grew up with his mother and her boyfriend who was abusive. He describes being beaten and how he grew up being afraid of men. He also had an experience at school of being one of about 2- white kids who had to run together from the bus to the school so they would not be bullied. No one at home was interested in him or what he experienced, thought, felt.. He hung out on a street where kids from similar backgrounds spent the day, including skinheads. Some of you may have violence in your neighborhood or home, or you had it as a child.
Most of us think we are above that behavior and think we are nothing like Meeink’s stepfather or skinheads.
But there are many ways people, and perhaps we, humiliate and disempower people without ever touching them.
Have you ever:
- Criticized someone?
- Used sarcasm?
- Told someone they were stupid or didn’t know what they were talking about?
- Discounted or ridiculed what they believe in?
- Ridiculed them in front of others?
- Used put-downs or contradicted them repeatedly in front of others?
- Berated them for what kind of student, child, parent, spouse, person they are?
- Made fun of their weight, nose, or some other physical attribute?
- Have you ever gone behind a family member, spouse, partner, refolding laundry, re-wiping the counter, etc. because the person didn’t do it exactly the way you do it?
- Expressed lack of belief in their ability to do something or to change?
- Demeaned what they do or how they do it?
- Done everything for someone because you have to have control or do it in the ‘right’ way?
- Always find something wrong with someone or what they do?
- Failed to notice and express appreciation, what they do right, good things about them?
He said that no one had ever asked him what his life or his experience was like and when the skinheads asked him, it felt like they cared.
Even in relatively healthy families we have to be on guard for disconnection.
- Coming home after school or work and spending the rest of the evening in front of the TV, computer, video game, book, or work.
- Never asking about your partner or child’s day, experience at school or work – or ask, but then turn your attention to something else before they can even respond.
- Being so busy with ‘to do’s’ that you never have time to sit and listen.
- Not listening.
- Telling your partner or someone else you don’t care about what they are saying or don’t want to hear it – or you already know what they are going to say.
- Trying to talk or listen while multi-tasking.
- Interrogating.
- Jumping in to advise or admonish instead of trying to understand what the experience was like for the other person.
- Discounting the other person’s experience as unimportant or just their problem.
Meeink talks about feeling inadequate, a failure and how with the skinheads he felt like someone. Being very smart and creative, he signed up for a cable access station and started his own TV program in his teens. He also said how his swastika tattoos and crazy look appealed to TV viewers and he became known and looked up to.
I heard an interview several years ago about a man who was a Muslim religious extremist and he described many of the same factors. He was bullied, felt helpless and describes the feeling of finally being someone, finally having a sense of power by becoming very fundamentalist. He was ‘right’ and everyone else was ‘wrong’. He knew ‘the truth’. He was part of something more ‘pure’ than his family and friends. Fortunately, he also turned his life around to promote respect and tolerance of difference.
4. Fear of others
Meeink was afraid of his stepfather and of men because of the violence. He was also afraid of people who were different from him or who he did not know and that was fed by the skinheads.
- In what ways to you promote fear of people who look, think, believe, act different from the way you do, whether through race, political views, religion, culture, or lifestyle?
- Have you ever forwarded e-mails that communicate how we have to fear another group of people or a political figure?
- Portrayed others who think or believe differently as ‘evil’ or ‘bad’?
- Used stereotypes of groups or religions to tell others to instill or fuel fear?
He describes an incident when he was about 14 where a large skinhead put him on his shoulders, walked into a bar and beat up some guy. Meeink describes the feeling of being on the other side of a beating for the first time in his life.
- Have you ever praised someone in life or movies for ‘beating the crap out of that guy’.
- Made comments about physically hurting or destroying someone or a particular group of people?
- Laughed about violence in a movie?
Next in Part 2: What Turns Hatred Around – What Human Beings Need in Relationships
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Find out which new products our beauty editors are obsessing over.
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The benefits of laying down the law(s) // <![CDATA[// // <![CDATA[// If you’re the paren
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I’m not a good girl. I’m not exactly bad. But, man, am I miles away from being good.
On my way to work last week, I watched a blonde Goody Two Shoes step onto my train. She was one of those dimpled, bright-eyed innocents who smiles so chastely and courteously at passersby, you’d think she was […]
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Before Beck turned into a wolf forever he made some new wolves. One of those wolves is Cole. Cole wa
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What lies beyond bachelorette-hood? What kind of life is there after the single years are over? What
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It’s the weekend once again, and for many people, it’s an opportunity to enjoy a big breakfast with the family. And that means pancakes. Big brands may dominate store shelves, but there are plenty of specialty pancake mixes, too. Although a single pancake mix doesn’t emerge as the hands-down favorite, a few brands do earn consistent praise from reviewers.
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As a supermodel-turned-supermogul, Heidi’s almost always been ‘in’ herself. Still, it’s reassuring that even she’s made a few fashion missteps. Check out how Heidi has “made it work” for more than a decade.
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FriendFinder’s Passion.com now offers a Gold and Silver membership guarantee. If you do not hook-up with someone in 3 months, you will get an additional 3 months for free.
Here are the rules for the guarantee as stated on the Passion.com dating site:
- Maintain a gold or silver account status for three months
- Log in at least once a month
- Send at least 3 emails a month
- Create at least one blog or group post each month
The rules seem pretty straight forward, since all they ask of the member is to actually use the site. If you have followed the rules and have had no success, then all you need to do to claim your 3 months is email Passion.com’s customer service. This offer is valid once per customer. Please confirm the guarantee rules on Passion.com before you sign up to this dating service as they may have changed since the writing of this post.
To find out more about this dating s …
Source: Dating Sites Reviews
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Want to take your dating practices to a new level? A green level? There’s a lot of mention in the news as of late on green dating and now relationships have a new “eco-sexual” aspect. Maybe you’re a recycling pro or opt for the bike before the car. Whatever your bent, there are ways to make your dating experiences green in a kiffy with these easy to follow tips and list of resources:
- Transportation: If you want to stay uber-eco, keep your dating green by choosing destinations along public transit routes. Subway, bus and light rail are all great ways to get around. Not only does shared transit help lessen your carbon footprint, it keeps you from those pesky DUI’s if you and your date have had a little too much fun.
- Know Your (Geo) Limits: Ardent biker? You may want to limit your dating geography to those matches who live in a certain mile radius so you can bike to the one you like year-round. As an alternat …
Source: Dating Sites Reviews
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#3: Compatible social lifestyles I really struggled with where to rank this one on my love list. I s
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New Answer – Well I think you’re already scoring points by going to the show. I would go up to and her kinda play dumb….”hey didn’t I see you the other at the student lounge?” then maybe make joking reference to her little fall. After that just start getting to know her a little bit, ask her questions about what she does, etc. And at the end of conversation ask her for her number and if she wants to go out sometime.
To avoid falling into the friends zone you have to just make sure you create a level of attraction while you’re talking with her. Flirt with her, but don’t make it extremely obvious. Portray confidence, keep eye contact, and being that she’s older, make sure you show a high level of maturity. You have to intrigue and make her curious about finding out more about you.
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If you missed a few posts on Blisstree this week, here are five of our favorites from the last five days. Not to brag or anything, but we like them, and hope you do, too.
1. Tackle Tax Season With LearnVest: The pros at LearnVest tell us what to do with … More
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Congratulations to Kaye and Charles, the two lucky winners of our inaugural and exclusive Starbucks giveaway!
Kaye and Charles were randomly selected and just won:
• Four Bottles of New Starbucks Frappuccino Light – 100 calories each (two Mocha Light, two Vanilla Light)
• One $15 Starbucks Gift Card
• One … More
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Is Prince William set to marry his new Queen? Whispers from the royal palace seem to think that Will
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Last year was the year of adultery claims The Daily Targum. This is due to that several high profile celebrities like Tiger Woods and Jesse James got caught cheating on their wives. I would also add to this claim that dating sites like Ashley Madison which promote infidelity made this a hot topic in the media as well.
Chemistry.com’s relationship expert, Dr. Helen Fisher, has said that adultery has roots not only in psychology but biology as well. Some of the psychological reasons for adultery she gives include:
…
Chemistry.com’s relationship expert, Dr. Helen Fisher, has said that adultery has roots not only in psychology but biology as well. Some of the psychological reasons for adultery she gives include:
- Solving a sex problem.
- Looking for more attention.
- Revenge.
- Supplement a marriage.
…
Source: Dating Sites Reviews
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